The Secret To Happiness

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Ask Yourself These Questions:

• Do you feel like you need a change in your life now, but don’t know what to change or how to get started?
• Are you tired of feeling miserable, lost and confused?
• Do you look around to see that you aren’t where you thought you would be by now?
• Do you feel paralyzed by fear, doubt and uncertainty?
• Is the only thing that feels scarier than taking a step forward staying where you are currently at for the rest of your life?
• Are you afraid that your relationships are in trouble? Are you lacking energy and the zest for life that you once had?

There is a way out of the dark, uncertain place. Although it may seem unachievable right now, it is completely do-able and you can make this happen. You can have a life that brings you all of this and more – purpose, clarity, happiness and satisfaction.

In my life, I was in a place where I was miserable, lost and confused. I had no idea who I was, what I wanted or how to get there. One day, in my early 20’s, I was going through a major crisis after finishing post-secondary as I realized I had selected a career path that didn't feel like it fit me at all – what I saw was my precious time had been wasted, not to mention a ton of money (can we say debt?!) and I had no idea what to do with the rest of my life.

I literally spent 2 days in bed sobbing. I felt utterly overwhelmed, trapped and vulnerable. The concept of staying where I was terrified me, but the concept of taking a step in any other direction was even scarier. I was stuck. I felt as though I had failed myself and the rest of the world.

My husband tried everything to console me, but nothing made me feel better. I had no idea how to pull myself out of the hole I had fallen into. I kept wondering how everyone else in the world knew what they wanted and had their lives in order? Why wasn’t I able to do that too?

On day #2 of said crisis, he told me something that changed my life as I know it.

“Sherri - I know that you are hurting and I want to help you, but I can’t make you happy. You are the only person who can make you happy. You need to find what it is that will make you happy. Once you are able to find happiness within you, then we can be happy together.”.

This statement completely rocked my world. I remember stuttering a sobby response of “…but how? How I do I make me happy?”. I spent the rest of that day quietly absorbing what that meant and how I could apply it to my life. Did I really have the power to make me happy? How?

The next day, I made a promise to myself – to find my happiness. For me, this meant taking full responsibility for me from that day forward – for my happiness, my health and my life. The truth is that no one can answer “How can I make me happy” but you.

Determined to find my version of “happiness”, I decided to start taking inventory of anything that:

• Caught my attention
• I enjoyed previously or now
• I wanted to try in my lifetime
• I wanted to know more about

One by one, I mustered up the courage and pushed myself out of my nest to try them. I would run back to my safe haven after spreading my wings to catch my breath from the rush of truly living and re-assess the experience. Either I liked them or I didn’t and either result was ok. The important part was that I tried; I took that step forward and gave it an honest effort.

The reason that I share this with is because this moment at one of my lowest moments was also one of the most empowering shifts I have ever experienced. I no longer felt paralyzed by waiting for my life to magically change and I no longer hoped for others to bring me bring me happiness. My life; my rules.

From that day forward:

• If I wanted something done, I initiated it.
• If I wanted to try something, I did it.
• If I wanted something badly enough, I worked my ass off to make it happen.
• If I wanted money to do and have the things that I wanted, I needed to build a career and work my bottom off.
• If I wanted to be happy, it was completely up to me to make that happen.

Taking responsibility for myself (my health, my happiness, my overall well-being, my career) helped me to pull myself out of that deep, dark hole of depression and not look back. As I allowed myself to take one baby step after another forward, I soon realized that there were things that I had loved doing that I no longer allowed myself to do or made time to do. As I tried things that I wanted to do (old and new) I felt more connected with me, alive and happy.

You can also experience that same ground shaking shift in your life. NO ONE in the world who is more qualified to change your life than you are!

As we become adults, we are fully responsible for our lives and all that goes with it. Your life is your blank canvas and you can decorate it as you see fit. You can choose a life that is:

• A) drab, grey and doesn’t rock the boat Or
• B) trendy and matches what everyone else is doing OR
• C) Infused with brilliant, bright colours that make you deliriously happy and…<gasp>…you may even choose to colour outside of the lines!

So let’s decorate!

Here are 5 simple steps to begin your journey to finding you:

• Step #1 - Pick yourself up (out of the bed, off of the sofa).
• Step #2 - Take a deep breath in, let it out slowly and fully. Repeat.
• Step #3 - Thank yourself for the strength and courage to take steps 1 & 2.
• Step #4 – Grab a piece of paper and list at least 3 activities that interest you. These may be activities that:
  • Catch your attention
  • You enjoyed previously, but haven’t done recently
  • You feel a desire to know more about or try
• Step #5 – Pick one of these items to do or start working towards now.

This could be anything from trying gelato to getting together with a good friend to trying a pottery class. No idea is EVER silly if it truly speaks to you. This exercise is fun and you should treat it as such. As ideas come to you, jot them down on a list – your “bucket list” if you will. When you catch yourself saying “I’ve always wanted to try that…”, add it to your list! That way, the next time you refer to your list you can be reminded “Oh yeah! I wanted to do that and in fact, I can fit that in now!”

You are fully qualified to take your life back and seriously, you can do this and I can help you to step your way into your new life. I can support you as you find you again to create a life that is happy, satisfying and meaningful to you. While no change is easy, I can guarantee that this will be the most worthwhile journey you’ve ever had.

True happiness cannot be purchased from a store or found from an external source. True happiness comes from following the callings for your soul. 

This world wants you to shine that light that only you hold. Please shine brightly beautiful!